Fulanito RoRo

This morning I woke up and was so lamenting the fact that I didn’t take fotos at Sofía’s fiesta that I became obsessed with making sure I video-taped her opening presents.  Then I planned on going through the house and taking the fotos that I could from what was left.  Everyone was still asleep, so I figured I could do it quickly and not be so regretful later. 

Sofía and I went downstairs to open presents.  I video-taped it, I felt like I was kind of redeeming my motherhood.  Then that all got shot to pieces.  I walked into the living room and noticed one of our baby gatos, Fulanito, was lying like he was sleeping, but he wasn’t sleeping.  He wasn’t moving-he, like me, wasn’t breathing, but he was lifeless.  It was a horrible image that seems to be burned in my eyelids and I can’t erase it.  What ensued was horrible.  I sobbed and sobbed for hours and days.  I cried so much that Sofía kept saying to me, “No llores más Mami”  Don’t cry any more Mami.  Nacho and Fulanito are/were our first babies.  They both are/were with us constantly, whatever we are doing.  Since I stay home and don’t work outside of the home,  that means I am with them almost 24 hours a day, so I feel a huge void that he is gone.  After the fiesta, he sat with us and snuggled and played, like usual, so I didn’t understand what happened to him because he wasn’t sick.   Our vet told us that he had feline hypertrophic cardiomyopathy disease.  It shows no symptoms (unless an ultrasound of the heart is done) and is painless, and affects young healthy cats.  When a cat passes away, it is usually instantaneous and painless as what it seemed to be with Fulanito who apparently died in his sleep.  Our vet did an ultrasound of Nacho (on her personal time with her personal sonogram machine) and it seems that although the disease is hereditary, Nacho does not have it!  So we are all mourning the loss of our baby Gato.  Sofía didn’t seem to understand at first that FuFu wasn’t coming back EVER.  We told her that he is now the Ángel Fulanito and that he is always watching over us.  Nacho looks for his twin brother and it is very, very sad, but he seems to be doing better now.  (Maybe better than I am!)  I feel like I’ve lost a child!  And I suppose for those of you who had Baby Animals before you ever had kids, then you know what I’m talking about.  The vet gave us paw prints of FuFu and that was very calming for me.  My husband walks around with Fulanito fotos on his celu.  FuFu was suuuch a good gato.  Sooo the after-the-fiesta-fotos that I thought I was going to be able to take…never happened.  I also cancelled a neighborhood fiesta that we were going to have for Sofía because we just plain weren’t in the fiesta mood.  FuFu was so young and we just weren’t expecting something like this. 

Besos para mi Baby Fufu……